Thanks for waking me up at 6:30am so that I could experience you more fully. We wouldn't have wanted to let me sleep a full 8 hours, aka: until 9:30. Good call. Glad I have you around to wake me up after my typical five hour sleep stint.
Furthermore, I am stronger than you. You don't know it now, but I can outlast you. You thought you'd caught me unawares by being all, "SURPRISE! HE REALLY DID MOVE ON FIRST AND HER NAME IS PRACTICALLY THE SAME AS YOURS AND YOU THINK SHE'S AWESOME SO CAN'T EVEN ASSUAGE YOUR FEELINGS OF FAILURE BY RESIGNING YOURSELF TO HER BEING A FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON FROM YOU BECAUSE SHE'S MARKEDLY SIMILAR IN MANY WAYS BUT PRETTIER." Well, you may have one-upped me, but I'm not down for the count. I'm smarter, I'm faster, I'm tougher than you give me credit for misery and/or hangover.
Already I've prevented myself from doing a little trip down facebook-picture-memory-lane. Good job self. And I'm drinking water. And I'm writing a juvenile entry in my juvenile diary because I guess I'm glad it happened while I'm still at college, instead of off in the Scary Real World.
You woke me up to feel sick and bitter, but I will triumph. I am going to look at cute pictures of baby elephants and watch funny youtube videos and take lots of advil. You may have won a battle by waking me - but I will eventually win this war. I will win it with determination, with courage, and with sweet e-mails from Amy.
Fuck you, misery/hungoverness at 6:30am. Fuck you very much.