The whole story is a long one involving a creepy man in CVS at 2am, attempts to get to the roof of Gilmer hall, and breaking all the rules.
Let�s get down to the important parts instead.
This was the second burniniation � and the second time it didn�t mean quite what I�d always assumed it would mean. I think I once helped Peter burn an old girlfriend�s artifacts. We were probably about 12. We didn�t really know how to be that angry, but we knew the motions to go through. Cor and I were not going through the twelve year old motions. We were not Emma and Harriet either, we were something different.
Cor and I did not burn because we were angry � it was a release, a controlled, concentrated, clich�d release. We released ourselves.
We lit cigarettes off of the smoldering letters, though neither of us are smokers. I gathered the ashes in my hands and ran out into the road spinning around in grand circles and letting the little black snowflakes fall down around me. I made a wish.
We talked a lot about destructive behaviors and the control over ones own universe they afford. We talked a lot about divorced parents and counselors and some about boys � but they weren�t the real point.
As we were driving down Ivy road, hitting the winds and curves I realized that I have absolutely no idea of who I am � I may never have felt more identity-less in my life.
Maybe, just maybe, that�s not such a bad thing. Maybe, just maybe I can phoenix out of the ashes of our scared, defiant, clich�d, original laughter.
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