trying everything once

The reason I walk that way past brown and obsessively check Facebook and still listen to the mix cds and think about it all the time is because at least when I�m feeling sad I�m feeling.

I think I hate my own coping mechanisms. I think I hate how much I self-analyze. I think I hate that I can�t wish I�ll never fall again.

When I don�t miss it, I miss missing it. I don�t know if I ever properly learned how to grieve, a problem at this particular juncture. I wish I knew I was missed too. As hard as it was before � was it this bad? Could it have possibly been? What if I don�t want to move on?

I hate thinking he�s right and I�m secretly this person that I could never love.


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