trying everything once

The reason I walk that way past brown and obsessively check Facebook and still listen to the mix cds and think about it all the time is because at least when I’m feeling sad I’m feeling.

I think I hate my own coping mechanisms. I think I hate how much I self-analyze. I think I hate that I can’t wish I’ll never fall again.

When I don’t miss it, I miss missing it. I don’t know if I ever properly learned how to grieve, a problem at this particular juncture. I wish I knew I was missed too. As hard as it was before – was it this bad? Could it have possibly been? What if I don’t want to move on?

I hate thinking he’s right and I’m secretly this person that I could never love.


Previous | Next