Goodbyes

I never contemplated what quitting would feel like. I guess I thought about it insomuch as I wanted to avoid the hurt if at all possible. Still, it's a fundament of life -- all things that begin one day end. This began, it ended.

When I let myself feel, I don't have a word for it. When I stop myself, I don't have a different word for it. I'm almost dying, almost hollow, almost relieved, almost dizzy. Almost.

That was the strongest force in my life for eleven months. I'm drifting.

My roommate is watching A Walk To Remember. That makes absolutely nothing about feeling dead inside feel better. Her suggestions for ways to perk me up have all been to make me watch sappy movies. It's not been working as well as she might have hoped. AKA, I want to murder Simply Irristible and Cyote Ugly opened up the flood gates so hard I stopped breathing trying to shut them again.

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