And that�s the thing � I totally get it. Completely. 100%. There is a non-small part of me that says, �sex android? Seriously? Sign me up!� No mess. No fuss. No shame. No wondering if the sex android is thinking about someone else or wishes you moved differently or wonders why you smell that way. The sex android, I feel, could even fake cuddling, and would be very good in bed. I get it. Even though you, backdoor neighbor of Andrew and Jennifer, are probably completely insane, I get it. I promise.
But, I think there�s more to it than that.
So, I�m writing this thesis on pornography and how we watch pornographic films today and who we are when we�re those kids who sit around and drink beer and watch porn. It�s giving me a total complex.
I knew I would hit a point in this thesis where I suddenly felt not smart enough to write a thesis. This always happens with research projects in which I am actually, passionately, interested � I hit the wall where the grunt-work begins and the task suddenly becomes Sisyphian and I just don�t care enough about boulders or mountains or research to go on. That, my friends, is why I do not believe I�ll ever seek out academia.
I knew, too, that I would probably hit a point in this thesis where I started feeling bad about myself because � surprise of surprises � I look very little like a porn star, and probably LESS like one when in actual sexual situations. I knew that was coming.
The thing is, that�s only sort of what it�s about.
There are no vaginal secretions in these movies. None. I mean � there�s some in some of the preliminary stuff I sifted through before I settled on comparatively high-budged, post 2003, story-based, straight porn�but mostly in a sort of �oh, I�m so wet you�re such a big man� sort of way. There�s none in these. Not even much muttering about wetness. All those meat shots show no dripping or slopping. There are no sloppy noises.
Like I said, I get the sex android, I totally do. But I think there�s more to it than that. There�s something to be said for messy, for sloppy, for people with vag juices and hair in places and more significant foreplay. I think the sex android misses the point of grown-up-person sex. These porns I�m watching, like the sex android, don�t have any heart or feeling. I mean, I�d probably be creeped out if the porn was all trying to get me to feel for the characters and want them to get together and then BAM All Anal All The Time or something�but maybe not. I�m sure that�s what makes me a woman, blah blah blah. Honestly, I totally get those movies that are just a series of hard-core sex scenes. It�s more the comparative sterility of the sex in these story-based porns that�s starting to freak me out.
Seriously � if you�re going to have story-based porn, at least throw in some dialogue about vag juices, and working girls up, and just how awesome guys are at doing things that women like. That way, when there are no sex androids, no one�s hopes were unfairly raised.
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